Some facts about life.

1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
2.People who feel the need to tell u that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor.
3.The most valuable function performed by the government is entertainment.
4. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment..
5. A penny saved is worthless.
6. They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there will never be peace in the Middle East..Billions of years from now,when Earth is hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms living in the Middle East will be bitter enemies..am talkin to Somalia too..
7. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip..you wanna argue,go on..
8. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers..at least i own a bicycle.
9. There comes a time when u should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 12...after that just grow old n die.
10. There is a very fine line between "hobby " and "mental illness."..mine has a rough line.
11. People who want to share their religious views with u almost never want u to share yours with them.
12. Nobody is normal..WtF did u think u were...
13. At least once per year, some group of scientists will become very excited and announce that:* The universe is even bigger than they thought!* There are even more subatomic particles than they thought!* Whatever they announced last year about global warming is wrong.
14. If u had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
15. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people. who are not in them.
16. The value of advertising is that it tells you the exact opposite of what the advertiser actually thinks. For example:*If Any Brewer runs an elaborate advertising campaign stressing the critical importance of a beer's "born-on" date,they know this factor has virtually nothing to do with how good a beer taste..after all,they all make u drunk,feel awesome n act stupid.
17. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger, a person on TV with a bad hairstyle or accent..
18. You should not confuse your career with your life..NEVER.
19. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
20. No matter what happens,somebody will find a way to take it too seriously..someone is already is..
21. When trouble arises n things luk bad,really bad,there is always one individual who perceives a solution to n is willing to take a command.Very often,that individual is crazy.
22. Your friends love u anyway
23. Nobody cares if u cant dance. Just get up n dance.
24. There will never lack complainers..hey,didn't u notice i was complaining!
25.Liar..we are liars.